Dangerous

It's a dangerous place inside my head.

The urge to self destruct is massive and there is no release. No safety valve. No distraction.

Just relentless, interminable, growing hatred of myself. Hatred of mono-outcome decisions that lead to inevitable, crushing, loneliness. Hatred of how insular I'm becoming because I don't want to poison others. Hatred of the pain. Hatred of the unrequitable desire to touch and be held. Hatred of my inability to suppress the feelings and desires. Hatred of being unable to act.

It's a dangerous place inside my head.

I need comfort food...